Oh Wow!
Well it was something like that i said when i found out i was going to become a father at the tender age of 45. It had been a difficult few years for me and the Missus, a battle with cervical cancer, resulting in an operation (fortunately minor), the aftermath of that being that we found out that she was expecting, great joy only to be brutally snatched away from us when she miscarried, I'm not known for being emotional, but even I shed a tear in private, not only for the loss, but for the perceived injustice when all around it seems that some who are no more than kids themselves are popping out children as a fashion accessory or as a means to secure housing.
I know that's a sweeping statement and i apologise to the younger mums out there who are not in that bracket, but that is the perception that us "oldies" have. How the missus would cope i was unsure, truth is it wasn't very well, many tears were shed, and, as is usually the case in circumstances like this, everywhere you looked, wether it be on TV or out about everyone had a child with them. We (she) decided to try again, that was the fun bit, and being like a rabbit with a week to live at somepoints, took me back to being 18 again, trouble was the body is not as fit as it used to be! Anyway, a holiday away has done the trick and great joy we are expecting a bundle in December.
Now, after the initial euphoria, and relief that everything is ok as per the doctor, the reality of becoming a father at 45 sinks in. The self doubts (am i too old?), the reality (i/ll be 61 when it is 16), the satisfaction (What advantages of age & wisdom i have) and the knowledge that something that has been fought for so much will be so cherished.
I dare not jump the gun too much as i fear that it may be snatched away again, In Football parlance it is a game of 2 halves, I am half way through the first half a currently winning 1-o but we all know how things can change.
The Biggest challenge i have at the moment is finding info, All websites (or the majority anyway) are aimed at mothers, and young ones at that. What about Dad?, what about older dads? Surely i can't be the only one out here.
I'll go off in search of some and report back... in the meantime i'll ust enjoy the moment,
